If anyone should refer to this blog for some reason in the future be re-directed here. If you'd like to follow me over to my new home on Wordpress. It will feature all old posts and new that I add from this date one.

Thank you for your patience in this transition.
https://cristinahgore.wixsite.com/growingpainsandtea/blog-1

Right now there are 6 people in space. Above my head as I write this there is a plane. A British airways flight from San Jose to London. I know this because I can track it.

Boeing 777-236(ER)

This type of aircraft, this exact type according to the  British Airways website can carry up to 280 in a three or four class seating system. At any given moment you can check out what's above you.

Check this out...
Head to Planefinder.net



This was just moments ago.

You gotta stop to think for a second do you not?

At any given time there are hundred of people far above your head and then up to a dozen even higher, in space. It's make the world seem pretty small when you think about. When you look up at a planes soaring through the air do you  stop to think about the people.

I do.


Every single person up there has a life. Every single person soaring at hundreds of miles per hour above your head has a story and a reason to be going places. I think of the people who area going on holidays while the weather here is cold. I think of the smartly dressed men with to-go bags in  business class who are always on planes. I think of the celebrities that could be off the ground right now; travelling home or to another set in some amazing country for that new blockbuster.
I think of the children, used to planes or not. Children that are tired or stressed and making a fuss that's kind of bugging that dude in front because the kid is kicking his seat. I think of the people who are going on their honeymoon, can't keep they're hands off each other and have seriously thought about joining the mile high club. If that's just on one plane...

The same happens if I'm feeling a little lonely while walking anywhere, every person in a car that passes has a life, a story and a reason for being exactly there when they pass you or stop at traffic lights to let you cross.


There are 7,600,320,167 in this world right now that that number is increasing by the second. That's over 7 and half billion people who are in body just like you, who experience the world in the same way you do but also in a very different way. You are part of the Worlds population. Part of a global need to grow and love and surround ourselves with people we love. There are over 7 and half billion people on this planet and right now there's a good chance that someone out there feels a little bit like you do.

There's a good chance, with that many other people in this world, you'll never been alone.

I'll never be alone. That is a nice thought.

Cheers.

For today's prompt I need to first make sure of three things...

1. No consequences includes everyone feelings, No one is allowed to be hurt by anything I do or say.
2. There's nothing that come back on me for all the money that I would spend.
3. There will be no weight gain for all the food I plan to eat. Second breakfast here I come.

That said.
If I could live for a whole day without consequences...
I'd start it at a fancy five star hotel in a waterfall shower followed by a room service ordered full English. I'd buy the best camera money could buy and I'd get a on a plane to New York City.
(I've never been and I'd love to go one day) I'd be the best/worst tourist and take pictures of everything.

Now, a flight to New York takes approx. 6 hours, direct so during those six hours I would Drink champagne, I don't really like it all that much but it's what they serve in first class so what can you do? Eat a fancy ass lobster with all the garlic butter a girl can get on a flight and then I'd spend my time watching my favourite TV shows. I could even blog about my day.

Once I land I'll hire a driver for the day, his name will be martin, whether it is or not, and he'll take me where I want to go and stop every time I see something I need a picture of. We'll do all the things that one is supposed to do in New York, including insane amounts of shopping.

Next on the agenda is gift for my family and friends because I still care about them. I'd find the best hotel in New York, now that overlooks Central Park preferably and have a mini photo shoot with all the clothes I bought while my driver had taken me sightseeing. I need evidence of this day.
I'd head back out for dinner, Heading for Scarpetta on Madison Avenue because I will need Italian.
I will finish up my day on a first class flight home. By the time I make it bad to my bed it'll be early the next morning and I'll have completed my day of no consequences.

I'll go back to my life, dreaming of New York and blogging about everything that happened.

This day, or I'd rob a bank, spread the money out among my family and then go and have this day anyway. I'd turn in into a week, road trip to California and catch a dodgers game and then because I'd still have the money I'm come back here, buy a house in sandbanks and live off my stolen riches while I blog and have tons of fancy dinner parties. 

For me, this day is more akin to a day in which I could do anything I wanted. If I could just disappear for a day with no worries and do what I really wanted this is what I'd do.

What would you do? If you had no consequences, money or otherwise what would you do for a whole day. Where would you go, who would you see or talk to?
I'd love to know what you think of my day and what you would do with yours.
Throw me some comments wherever you like and give me a glimpse into your mind.

Cheers

Meeting new people suck sometimes when you have define yourself as type of person who likes a type of things. The above is one of those questions I hate being asked because my music taste is vastly eclectic.

I love music. It can turn a bad day into a good one in minutes and I suppose a good day into a bad one too if you over-think hard enough.

It can inspire, hold you and tug at your heart strings.

Music can bring back all kinds of memories and even get you lost in it.

I can't go a day without listening to music and my Youtube playlists vary from Fat Bottomed Girls ByQueen (I feel this song is particularly relevant) to Skrillex or ridiculous trap remixes. *Side note search for a trap remix of Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka, It's pretty awesome*

I've always been this way and while I can be very specific on what I don't like, that list is pretty small and only really includes things that I can't sing screech along to. What's your favourite band/artist? Is another question I hate because it changes, a lot, almost daily actually. My usual answer reflects that and I'll throw out something like "I'm really enjoying so and so right now" and this will be enough to satisfy the question asker. If it were life or death and I had to pick my 5 top songs, if I had a CD on a desert island and could only listen to those songs for the rest of my life.

Bad analogy, you probably get rescued from a desert island eventually...

Mine would be alone these lines:

1. The Closest Thing to Crazy - Katie Melua
2. How Long Will I Love You - Ellie Goulding
3. If I die Young - The Band Perry
4. Misery Business - Paramore
5. Wide Eyed - Billy Lockett

Throughout my life I've always been he kind of girl who wanted to please everyone, be a good friend and do things for others even if I didn't really want to or know how to. Some old friends would be more than happy to tell you that I've always tried to please everyone and that I'll try to avoid conflict where possible, my job as a mediator in year 11 at high school was a direct result of this behaviour.

2011 - That's me in the dead centre, where I always pretended I wanted to be. (I don't know whose hand that is?)

I thought I needed to be pretty and thin and sporty to be popular at school, I thought that I needed to be all those things to have a boyfriend. I had a few in the 4 years at high school and I remember almost all of them and sometimes when I look back I think about the ones I broke up with. There's one that stands out that I think I made a mistake breaking up him with and in fact I did it because I was young, and scared of feelings.

Still kinda am...

Hard truth?

I seek approval in every part of my life from basically everyone.
I always have and might continue to for the rest of my life.
I know it's not entirely healthy behaviour and while I talk a good game, I'm wildly insecure about almost everything. I have to laugh at that, not only because it's 100% true but also it's a little sad that I still feel like I'm not enough.

I am enough.

While the mainstream media used to teach us that we had to look a certain way, and now tries to back track on that and teach us to love ourselves no matter how we look, it's never quite worked with me.

Confidence is sexy, you'll find a man if your are confident.
How can you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself first?

It's always been drilled into me that I needed to exude confidence like pheromones if I was to attract a mate. I'm 22, and parts of me jiggle when I laugh!
They're jiggling now because I'm laughing at the word jiggle.

Why is it so hard to let go of what people think?

I wonder what people think when I'm walking down the street, if people look at my clothes in disgust. I make an effort to dress well everyday, even if I'm not really going out. I make an effort with my appearance, while I've always said it makes me feel good, I don't want people to judge me, inwardly or otherwise. I guess, thinking of a post from a few days ago about long terms #goals I should add to that, the acceptance of myself. I am making changes but changing my opinion of myself may take a little more time.

You know what though, I'll get there. The one thing I am confident in is my ability to grow. I've grown so much since high school, not just width ways, but in how I see the world. The world is changing along with me and I love it.

Is there anyone in your life who you still seek approval from? Someone you know you maybe shouldn't react to when they use a judging tone but it still hurts? I'm here to talk and if you want to message me privately about really anything, you can email me at - cristinagore@hotmail.com

I'm friendly and I don't bite I promise.

Cheers

Everyone should have a goal. long term or short term, I've always felt like while I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going that one day I'd be exactly where I wanted, that one day things owls just magically fall into place and maybe they still will.

I've learnt a really important lesson lately and that's that I can't control everything, as much as I'd really like to, a lot of things going on in my life are not within my control. I can't control more things than I can and while this used to bother me quite a lot, I've grown accustomed to just letting things happen and then I get to actually enjoy it when I control something.

I have goals, I have ideas and ambitions about the things I can control, what I'll become, who I'll love and How to support those I care about. I have 5 long terms goals, things that I'd like to accomplish by the time I die. It's a motivated bucket list.

1. I'd like to own a house. Actually have it as mine and so I can do what I want to it, like put in a swimming pool or something.

2. I'd like to get married, assuming there's someone out there for everyone, even me.

3. I'd like a couple of kids, the idea of that deep attachment to another being is amazing to me, even if I end up adopting, Id like to experience that kind of unconditional love for myself.

4. I'd like to keep writing, a blog with maybe ten loyal readers; who read 90% of my posts is enough for me. I just want to keep this... For me, my creative outlet.

5. I'd like to always be close to my family, I love them with all my heart and they have all, in their own way supported and helped me through stuff. If you could choose family...

I'd choose 2012 Brangelina, right after brad proposed, obviously.

Then I'd choose my family, you know if Brangelina wouldn't have me.

It's good to have things to shoot for even if they're years and years away. They're the things you carry in the back of your mind, the things you hope to happen in your life.

Do you have goals like this?
Anything that could be months or years away, but something that matters to you, that you want for you.

Let me know in the comments down below if you have one of those long term, hopefully one day sort of goals, I'd love to know. 

Cheers

I have a jar. It's not got dirt in it but it does contain bits of paper that help me with what to write.

They were for journalling, to get into the habit of writing everyday to flex my creative muscles but they have turned out pretty helpful in deciding what to write about. I have my mumma pick out a note  which has worked out really well the last few days.

Todays prompt is As a child what did you want to be went you grew up?

In hindsight, I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do and in truth I still don't. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I followed my creativity into college and that's why I ended up in design, I ended up in graphic design because I can't draw by hand very well.

When I was at school we had to choose our path in life at a really young age. I was maybe 14 when I decided what I was going to study at GCSE level and those choices would affect what we'd study in further education. This is a terrifying thought and really a nod to how messed up our education system is.

I was lost in these choices, I chose the things I liked, I knew I like art and working with my hands so textiles was  also there. I had to then choose other things, like business studies that I failed and Religious education that I didn't fail. We have this thing where I'm from called Sixth Form, It's like year 12, it's what you do after finishing high school but were you can stay at the school you've been going to. I always knew I didn't want to stay at that school so when I was looking at colleges, I managed to choose the furthest away where I had an hour and half bus journey either way and I loved it.

I found myself at college. I got away from my formative years and found who I was.

I was loud and bossy and self conscious. I still am all those things.

I didn't know my life, I didn't know what I wanted to become, who does at 14 years of age.
I've so far lived my life on my terms, I've so far lived doing what I wanted, what I enjoyed.

What did you want to when you grew up?
Did you know what you wanted to be?
Were you one of those people who had it all in mind from the start or did you stumble your way into the life you have now?

Cheers